Thursday, March 13, 2014

The Vogel Bed & Breakfast & Babies

Dear honored friend or family member,

Consider a reservation at the Vogel Bed & Breakfast & Babies! This lovely historic getaway, just a short trip away from the nation's capitol, is sure to be the highlight of your year. 

Our newest attraction will arrive by April 10th we hope; be sure to book now so you get your preferred spot!

Check in time is tentatively between 4:00 am - 7:00 pm; if your schedule inhibits you from arriving during this timeframe, please be aware that the B&B&B owners may have passed out from exhaustion.

Your "Knotty Pine Paneling" suite includes a guest room with full-size bed, a tv and dvd player if the B&B&B owners or newest attraction become overwhelming, and two closets to hide in if they are beyond overwhelming. Elsewhere in the house you will also have access to a modern pine pull-out futon, a mid-century full bath, a washer and dryer to get those spit up stains off, a partially stocked kitchen and fully carpeted cat tower.

Breakfast is served at your leisure, by your very own self! Scavenging our pantry will yield masterpieces such as:
  • Hot water, hopefully with tea or coffee!
  • Stale cereal and almond milk
  • Eggs (you have to clean out the skillet from the night before first)
Upon request, other meals may be included if they are cooked or purchased by you.

Don't miss a minute of the exciting activities offered by the Vogel B&B&B:
  • Constant crying (may be babies or mom)
  • Adorable wrinkly newborns that you can hold while the B&B&B owners take naps
  • Contemplating whether babies look more like mom or dad
  • Diaper changing, sometimes includes a cute little sprinkle on your person!
  • Clothes washing for both newborns and yourself after a diaper change
  • Household chores that mom no longer has the mental capacity for
  • Enchanting evenings with adorable wrinkly newborns while the B&B&B owners escape the house for a couple hours
  • Errands around the burgeoning metropolis to pick up things like ice cream and diapers
  • Soothing jealous cats

We hope you come soon and enjoy your stay!

Inline image 1and Babies!

2 comments:

  1. We are interested. Since now babies are in the title of the place, I assume the extra charge is now dropped. And one more won't make too much of a difference at this point. Can't wait to meet these guys!

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  2. Would love to have you, let us know via email or the form what dates you're interested in!

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