Men. Gosh.

I am about to make a terrible generalization. Men obgyns, in my vast experience, are not great. Saw another doctor in my practice this morning, first guy obgyn for me, and not. impressed. He walks in, indicates I lay down, and does a quick ultrasound muttering about heartbeats. Forgot to turn the screen toward me as he harrumphed approvingly that they were alive and kicking. And that was pretty much it. Five minutes. The other doctors said I'd get a referral for the big ultrasound, he said they'd just do it there. I had to drag information out of him. Maybe he was having a bad day, I can allow for that. But I feel much better about switching to a closer hospital and practice.

You could actually see their hearts beating though, kinda crazy.

In other news, we are mid-move and spent our first night at the new house! Andrew is the best moving spouse I've ever married. All he's letting me do is pack and unpack and pick up five guys burgers. I can totally handle that.

Week eighteen.

Well, here we are at 4.5 months- technically the middle of 9 months, but two weeks away from halfway through 40 weeks. What gives? This math is weird.

Shrimps:

• Are about the size of baked potatoes. With sour cream and fox point seasoning and some melty butter for good measure...
• Are just focusing on getting brainier and bigger from now on, mostly.
• No noticeable movement/kicking yet, aka no reason to feel my belly.
• Next week's appointment means a referral to make the ultrasound appointment to make sure all fingers and toes are accounted for. Also what sex these shrimpies are. So far we have one couple assuming they're boys. Mostly we're good with two healthy babies, but a boy and a girl could be fun. There will be no gender reveal party nonsense. You'll just know.

Laura:

• Is really into elastic waistbands these days.
• Has been slopping on the lotion like there's no tomorrow, but IT'S NEVER ENOUGH.
• Is not as awesome at moving boxes as has been the case in past moves, ugh.
• Skimmed through Dumbo on Netflix since I couldn't remember the plot and was definitely tearing up with sadness at how MEAN everyone was to a baby elephant.

Andrew:

• Continues to patient and tolerant with the general lack of food and cleanliness in our house. Chipotle is our new best friend.
• Has quite a talent in cleaning carpets- ask for a demo next time you see him!
• Is very interested in Dinovember; I think this has a better chance of happening in our house than elf on the shelf...

Belly shot!

Here's seventeen point five weeks:

Week seventeen.

Shrimps:

• Are developing baby fat, also known as adipose and creepily depicted in a Dr. Who episode....
• Should be somewhere around 5" long? According to some sources?
• At this point the only still-continuously developing part is the brain. Over the next few weeks they'll start to have an awareness of each other.
• The big old ultrasound is due to happen just before Thanksgiving. People will have to think of a new question to ask us once the genders are discovered.

Laura:

• Is looking for a hospital and affiliated obgyns closer to the new house. 17 miles is a little too far to drive in labor around here, especially if it happens to be rush hour...
• Getting some spurts of energy back that are quickly depleted. Had a lovely girls' night out Monday that I've just recovered from today I think!
• Is contemplating purchasing additional comfy maternity pants. Pants are annoying. Wish suspenders were more stylish these days.

Andrew:

• Is feeling pretty good after ~3 months on his diet, and has been running more. Work is still a bummer though.
• One day will get Laura coordinated enough in the morning to take a belly shot. One day.
• Found some stellar onesies on pinterest.... including this gem:

Week sixteen.

Shrimps:

• Okay. No sources agree on a standard, basic size of babies from week to week. Especially when you try to figure it out for twins. They're bigger than last week. Let's just say that.
• Are definitely making their presence known belly-wise... pictures to come. Maternity pants are SUPER comfy y'all. I might wear these things after pregnancy too.
• Might be noticeably moving around? The description I keep hearing is "bubbles" but all my internal bubbles seem to end in the usual way... there are more of them though. Which means moving shrimps or I need to perfect my crop dusting methods.
• Have fingernails and toenails, which will be flesh-tearing talons by the time they are born. Never would have thought to pack a baby nail file for the hospital until now.
• Are covered with tiny white hairs called lanugo, which is mostly gone by birth. 

Laura:

• Is definitely getting a little more interested in food. Hooray, food! With the in-laws and Jessie visiting Friday and Saturday, I got to eat: burger and fries, donuts, sweet potato tots, and spaghetti. Next goal is to eat healthy food.
• Has been addicted to Forge of Empires by Andrew. I think he's pleased with himself...
• Is teaching her first class this Wednesday, "Anatomy of a Leaf". Should be fun!

Andrew:

• Has a major deadline for work coming up, so he will be doubly glad when November is over! 
• Sent in our 30 days' notice to break our apartment lease. This thing is getting real, people. Our walk-through is scheduled for this coming Friday and we get the keys the following day.
• Is starting to squeeze in some running again... stress relief hooray!

Look at my belly(?)

This is not actually my belly.

I have heard rumblings and rumors that people want to see belly shots. I assume of me, not Andrew. Just so I know people read this you should comment below if you want to see me gradually blow up like a balloon.

There are a few things you should know if these shots are to happen:

• I will not be using cute chalkboard signs with fun information on them
• My shirt will remain in its normal location. No bare bellies. this also means I will not be painting snowman faces, babies, basketballs or other objects on my belly
• I will not be making heart outlines with my hands on my belly
• Andrew will not be kissing my belly in any pictures
• If you don't know what any of this means, it might be worth your while to search pinterest for pregnancy pictures and giggle for a while

Week fifteen.

Shrimps:

• I have a confession to make. These little guys are not near as big as I've been reporting, according to the doctor. Because there's two of them. I have no fun other comparisons, so just think of the thing I compare them to in the future as cut in two and molded into two miniature versions.
• So this week the shrimps will together be as big as a beefsteak tomato... a normal one. Not a Boxcar Willy, y'all. I got one of those once that split open a paper lunch bag when I tried to squeeze it in. If anyone has some fresh tomatoes they can cut up for me with olive oil salt and pepper please bring them over. With dill pickles on the side if you please.
• Can now sense light in addition to pressure from outside. I guess I should stop shining flashlights at my belly all night.
• Have begun "breathing" the amniotic fluid. Which kind of makes me choke to think about.

Laura:

• Is probably experiencing rhinitis of pregnancy, although as Andrew could tell you her nose has always generally been terrible. So much nose blowing ugh.
• Found a fancy word for current feelings of stupidity- gestational amnesia! That's why I'm so bad at life right now, I'm sure of it.
• Is mentally flailing around in the lake of chaos that is our current life, looking for some order to hang on to... I can hear you parents wisely chuckling in the background. Please pipe down and let me hold on to my fantasy of order as long as possible.
• Now possesses some maternity clothes, and is waiting to grow into them.

Andrew:

• Is doing such a nice job of making Laura eat good stuff. This week he got groceries and bought her a host of things just for her that are easy to make and healthy. What a guy!
• Was certain we'd know genders this week... nope. FYI, next appointment (a month from now), I'll be getting a referral to get a super detailed ultrasound done which the doctor called "anatomical". Which means they look for more than girl/boy parts, I'm guessing.