Stupid, stupid Eve.

I'm guessing this is all Eve's fault, pain in childbirth whatnot. Although if she knew what she was in for, I think she would have passed on a talking reptile offering fruit. Also maybe woman could have been shorted the rib instead of man, to make more baby room.

For the last couple nights, I've been waking up feeling like someone took a meat tenderizer to my ribs. Since we don't own this instrument and I can't imagine why Andrew would do such a thing to me, I can only conclude that this is due to "rib flaring." Basically an expanding uterus taking up so much room that the bottom of my ribcage is suffering the consequences. Beyond just the ribcage, I can look forward to other squished organs as well... I'm glad I don't live inside my body because man just thinking about my crammed interior makes me a little freaked out. This is why twins don't go past 40 weeks, people. 

This is a meat tenderizer, folks. Now of course Andrew wants one.

What does this mean for my life right now? Mostly that slouching hurts. The most comfortable thing to do is arch my back and cross my arms over my head, but that is not socially acceptable to do constantly in public, right? Also I occasionally panic about the fact that these shrimps will be at least tripling in size before my ribs and organs get a break. Also sleeping on my side is no longer the one solution. Although sleeping on my back hurts my back. So beyond my complex nest of pillows, I have now added a rotation of sleeping positions which makes me feel a bit like a rotisserie chicken.

That's all the venting for now, I think. If anyone wants to send me sympathy ice cream it would be appreciated.