5:30 and teeth and sharing

If my patience were a piece of clothing, it has been worn, stretched, stained, scrubbed, and laundered daily since these guys were born. I think at this point it's safe to say its consistency is tissue thin and it's starting to rend. 

The boys have been getting up around 5:30 pretty regularly lately, and I've been trying to go to bed earlier to match. This means, however, that dishes, laundry, and meal prep do not happen in the evening...  I thought I'd be able to get SOME of it done with such an early start, but these guys just do not behave on their own for more than five minutes at a time. Micah's getting his other incisor and has this ear-crinkling, whiny, half-hearted, continuous noise emitting from his rosebud lips from wakeup onward. They also are showing a strong preference to play with only the toy their brother finds most interesting at the moment, ignoring the 83 other colorful objects littering the carpet. The coveted object in question causes more obnoxiousness, like:

• Phin has approximately three emotional states: hysterically happy, pleasant/content, and face-wrinkling, charlie brown mouthed bawling. The last is the result if Micah succeeds in taking his toy.
• Poked eyeballs
• Tiny baby claw scratches
• Shoving each other into furniture or onto the floor
• Hitting each other with tiny mallets, pinwheels, or the plastic gas tank that came with the lawnmower.

Does anyone have a new patience shirt I could take off your hands? The thicker the fabric, the better. Maybe patience carharts would be the way to go.