This is your brain. This is your brain on warp drive.

We are so fortunate. Jobs, family, faith, you name it. But gosh is life full and gosh am I short on patience and peace lately. Here's a sampling of my brain right now.

• A steady carousel of work activities looping through my brain:
• Running meeting tomorrow first thing. Need to get there early, but will depend on how wisely I use the 15 minutes I have to get ready. Print off calendars. Then straight into four hour other meeting. 
• Working early-ish Saturday because there are two simultaneously occurring classes I'm running plus another 30 minutes later in another building. 
• Half day on Sunday for lecture for 140
• There are the six budgets due tomorrow. Half done. 
• There are 50 programs due at the end of the month
• I have to learn how to run a tram by the end of the month
• This is ridiculous. Is it my fault this has all piled up? Probably for the tasks. Is it ever going to be possible for me to work as proactively as I'd like?
• Nice to be home, but more despair and irritation because there's no relief there either.
• Worked late today, Andrew fed boys dinner even though he's not feeling well. Feeling guilty as result. 
• About an hour playing/interacting with boys... is that enough? Am I engaged enough as a parent? I have noooooo energy, do they notice? Does that make me a bad parent? Shouldn't I be taking them outside?
• The house is giving me mess-rage. UGH we still have moving boxes and I can think of nothing to do with the contents. The living room makes no sense. I need to vacuum. That mirror is smudged. There's a poopy diaper in that bathroom. Why do we still not have bedroom furniture? Why on earth are the loads in the washer and the dryer still the same as the other day? Who put tupperware in the dishwasher? How can they stand the smell of that cat litter?
• Boys in bed... YES. NOOOOO. On to dishes. And toy pickup. And more despair and mess-rage. Because Sarah's at school and Andrew's working more. Then hanging diapers. Then the laundry that's been sitting clean and getting wrinkled in bedroom and dryer. Oh my gosh does this never end.
• 10pm- WOOHOO done. I have been a BEAST of productivity. How should I reward myself? Going to bed is boring and depressing. I am going to stay up just a little and treat myself to a glass of wine and a show, or something more edifying. Nah, I never do edifying. Because I have no energy for edification.