Just an update.

Couldn't think of anything catchy to use for a title, it happens sometimes.

We had a great weekend and got a lot accomplished:

• 2 lovely trail runs for Andrew in actual spring-like weather
• Work for both of us
• A bit of a date Saturday night at Famous Dave's where I got to watch Andrew eat spareribs like a swarthy viking
• Cleaning and organizing
• Taxes finally knocked out
• A visit on Sunday from an elderly sister and brother that grew up in our house; they were having a family reunion and had not seen the place since the 70's. I think there were 20 people in the house! They did call in advance and we did say that they could come, fyi...
• Irish dinner, board games and ice cream with Jessie

While I wasn't particularly pleased with the 8" of snow over the past 24 hours, having an almost empty building to myself today did seem to inspire me to extra productivity... now to make sure I don't burn myself out today and have to recuperate for the rest of the week. 

I feel like ever time I look down I can see less of my feet/lap... quite ready to move on to the next stage! It is pleasing though that it's taken me this long to feel particularly whiny about the process though. A month caps at the really uncomfortable awkward stage. The worst part is anything to do with bending at the hips; I can no longer make an acute angle unless I position my feet ridiculously far apart. Feels kind of like I'm a giraffe taking a drink.

The Vogel Bed & Breakfast & Babies

Dear honored friend or family member,

Consider a reservation at the Vogel Bed & Breakfast & Babies! This lovely historic getaway, just a short trip away from the nation's capitol, is sure to be the highlight of your year. 

Our newest attraction will arrive by April 10th we hope; be sure to book now so you get your preferred spot!

Check in time is tentatively between 4:00 am - 7:00 pm; if your schedule inhibits you from arriving during this timeframe, please be aware that the B&B&B owners may have passed out from exhaustion.

Your "Knotty Pine Paneling" suite includes a guest room with full-size bed, a tv and dvd player if the B&B&B owners or newest attraction become overwhelming, and two closets to hide in if they are beyond overwhelming. Elsewhere in the house you will also have access to a modern pine pull-out futon, a mid-century full bath, a washer and dryer to get those spit up stains off, a partially stocked kitchen and fully carpeted cat tower.

Breakfast is served at your leisure, by your very own self! Scavenging our pantry will yield masterpieces such as:

• Hot water, hopefully with tea or coffee!
• Stale cereal and almond milk
• Eggs (you have to clean out the skillet from the night before first)

Upon request, other meals may be included if they are cooked or purchased by you.

Don't miss a minute of the exciting activities offered by the Vogel B&B&B:

• Constant crying (may be babies or mom)
• Adorable wrinkly newborns that you can hold while the B&B&B owners take naps
• Contemplating whether babies look more like mom or dad
• Diaper changing, sometimes includes a cute little sprinkle on your person!
• Clothes washing for both newborns and yourself after a diaper change
• Household chores that mom no longer has the mental capacity for
• Enchanting evenings with adorable wrinkly newborns while the B&B&B owners escape the house for a couple hours
• Errands around the burgeoning metropolis to pick up things like ice cream and diapers
• Soothing jealous cats

We hope you come soon and enjoy your stay!

and Babies!

Week thirty-four.

Shrimps:

• Are starting to look less like aliens in the sonograms! See exhibit A above... head horizontal to the left with forearm covering top of head and eyes closed.
• Have flipped yet again, with Boy A in vertex and Boy B in breech. They are slowly running out of room so we'll see where they get stuck... in the meantime the sonogram technician thinks B will be the alpha child, he's been squashing and rolling himself around on A and poor A just kind of curls up and takes it for the most part. 

Laura:

• Is starting to get a belly gap in the old clothing... my maternity pants have given up stretching and now just slink down over my belly given the slightest reason. Which makes long shirts like the one in the picture rather airy underneath.
• Is now having weekly appointments with a sonogram and doctor just to see when I'm about to burst. Have officially been given the handout of who and when to call in the case of labor. 
• Needs to work on timing bursts of energy to achieve maximum impact. Earlier this week I pulled up the hall carpet staple by staple, swept, mopped it with murphy's oil, and applied lemon oil (original wood floor) but then could accomplish nothing the following day at work. Meh. 

Andrew:

• Officially has Maryland plates, hurrah! And has switched over insurance to the same state... nice getting these tedious, brain-requiring things done before we move on to fixating on what goes into and out of babies.
• Has been able to use his office this week thanks to some help from the visiting Vogels (and Albrights) over the weekend. He's gonna need somewhere to hide pretty soon, so all the better.

Tour de hospital

Might as well have been tour de france, I think I'm finally recuperated after a day and a half. Should have taken the offered wheelchair at the beginning... walking and standing around for an hour is not my forte these days.

We went on our official hospital tour Thursday evening which was really nice! It seems they know what they're doing with babies. The nurses said they deliver ~2 sets of multiples a week which is more than I've done. They allow flexibility for all the areas that lamaze folks get their panties in a bunch with these days: using a variety of labor positions, birthing balls and bars on hand, "natural birth" options (although their rate of epidurals is like most places... 90+%), holding the baby right afterward, etc. There was one lady on the tour who was super disappointed that they had no tubs nor could you rent one and bring it with you... how do you get a tub into a hospital room? How would you fill it? Strange.

Other fun hospital things: I get to bring popsicles with me to supplement ice chips during labor OH BOY. As a multiples pregnancy we get dibs on one of the big rooms. Once the babies have made their grand entrance, you get moved to the maternity ward where a typical stay is 2 days... if there are any complications however it can be up to 5 days. I also asked about the support person's accommodations; Andrew's face just fell when he heard he might be spending most of his free "vacation week" sleeping on a sofa eating trail mix.

Last night we watched through a number of lamaze videos and I think absorbed some good information between laughing hysterically. I'm sure labor positions are super helpful but you can't tell me they don't look terribly awkward.

Week thirty-three.

It strikes me that these weekly posts in some ways seem written from a prison cell... which then reminds me of this video that you should watch:

Shrimps:

• Were identical blond girls in a dream last night. Which was surprisingly irritating to Laura in the dream, given that we have a bunch of boy clothes and so forth.
• Continue to stretch and roll around and jab Laura's right ribcage. They are still in a "bunk bed" position, both sideways with heads to Laura's left, feet to Laura's right. 
• Have plenty of fluid to float around in (I go in for this measurement weekly now), and heartbeats are looking good.
• Had their pictures taken at this week's sonogram, will have to scan and add here even though they look a bit scary.
• Have mattresses, a diaper bin, and a number of other items that came this week- our friends and family are awesome!

Laura:

• Magically survived managing the big annual symposium at work last Friday, with 80+ participants and 4 speakers... although she did sleep 12 hours immediately upon returning home from said event. This week brings an assistant/temporary replacement for fmla- about time.
• Is now 30 pounds above normal... we'll see how much higher it goes. My pelvic floor muscles are sad.

Andrew:

• Has his MD plates for his car, hooray! While this is not exactly baby related, it was on his list of things to complete beforehand so still good.
• Is riding the tidal waves of Laura's emotions pretty well. During dinner tonight he mentioned that he anticipated quite a beating during labor, and that he would probably just end up standing in the corner. I suggested he try holding my hand and I would smack him away if I didn't want to. Ah, such love. 

Fun things from Birth Day:

• The average obstetrician faces 2-3 major lawsuits in their career for a birth that went awry. This increase has resulted in less doctors attending births, and more trigger happy use of c-sections if anything is out of the ordinary.
• Queen Victoria was less than five feet tall, and gave birth to nine children that were, "wonderfully strong and large." Needless to say she was a strong supporter of the early use of chloroform. 
• It was thought at the time by those opposed to pain relief for labor that using chloroform or the like would unleash an uncontrollable female sexual frenzy.

Week thirty-two.

Micah and Phineas:

• Are now transverse (both laying horizontally that is), heads to Laura's left and feet to her right. I guess that my bruised right ribs indicate they're more into running than boxing... Andrew should be pleased. They'll apparently settle on a position around the end of March.
• Are now around the four pound mark. Five pounds, or a bag of flour each, is the average delivery weight for twins... getting there!
• According to this week's appointment, have plenty of amniotic fluid to float around in these days.

Laura:

• So far this week has shattered a plate, chipped a bowl, and tried to drink coffee without the mug touching her lips. This kind of stuff does end after the babies arrive, right? Sort of? Because if I can't hold a plate I don't know about two infants.
• Learned more than she EVER wanted to know about pelvic floor muscles and ways to exercise them at a class. Just knowing all the women around you are doing kegels at the same time you are is rather disconcerting.
• Also has been learning about c-sections. Ugh. Something worse than normal birth, really? Quite content to read concise descriptions, will not be watching any videos thank you very much. Although I am very appreciative to be going through this in the current era rather than, say, the 19th century...
• Had an appointment this week, and one a week for the next two weeks at least. So much for every two weeks? But hey I'd rather be thorough! And this practice has a Starbucks and Trader Joe's next door so no complaining from this lady.

Andrew:

• I have no idea what to post for him this week. 

Super awesome book.

Thanks to Becky, I am now chock full of elaborate illustrations and quirky details about pregnancy, birth, and the all-amazing infant development. Behold a quote from the book she gave me:

It's a whole different world in the womb. Apt analogies are hard to come by. I once read an account of childbirth that compared the emerging fetus to a surfacing scuba diver. Both of them move from a watery environment to an air-filled world, the author wrote. Each carries an oxygen supply-an air tank for the diver, a placenta for the fetus. At the moment of transition they simply toss aside their now obsolete underwater gear and take a big gulp of fresh air.  

That analogy only goes so far. If a diver really were like a fetus, his lungs would be filled with seawater, his air tank would be connected to his belly button, and half his blood supply would be floating in a sac outside his body. On his way up from the depths he'd squeeze the extra blood back into his body, force the water out of his lungs, and permanently rearrange the flow of blood through his heart. Then he'd pop to the surface, naked and screaming. If diving and childbirth were identical processes, Jacques Cousteau might never have gotten in the water. (Dr. Mark Sloan, Birth Day)

 Man. If you want to know all the gory detail about this process and laugh and appreciate birth simultaneously, you should get this book. He describes a fetus' brain as pudding, gorilla uteruses as squished toilet paper tubes, and apparently the classic flat-on-the back dorsal decubitus position for labor is all King Louis XIV's fault.